On Flip-Flops, Weddings, and Merry-go-Rounds--Reflective Essay by Aiken

I WISH I could write fiction!! I would love to turn the reflective essay that follows into a short story, but I'm afraid it would be HORRIBLE. I agree with Anna Quindlan that people tend to read & remember fiction and the ideas that fiction authors present longer, to ponder them. I can see the same things some authors do . . . I'm just not sure I can present them as works of fiction. So . . . until I craft a decent story, here's my reflective essay that begged to be written today.


The subject of weddings—and the bridal accoutrements came up recently in conversation with a friend. She described the footwear worn by bridesmaids at a recent wedding attended by her mother. Neither she nor her mother was impressed, for the women of the wedding party had all worn flip-flops. My friend did not smile; her brow furrowed slightly; her mouth formed a straight line. Surely I must agree, else she would not have shared her view. Ummmm.

You know . . . I kind of think flip-flops are fine for a summer wedding. I knew one bride who wore fuzzy white flip-flops so she wouldn’t appear taller than the groom. Perhaps they don’t go with a formal dress, but then, none of the females in the either processional or recessional had fear of falling. Perhaps they were nervous; in a serious ceremony, in a locally famous chapel perhaps wearing flip-flop was a fun, silly way to take the edge of the tension. No doubt they had their toes “done.” That would have made a unique photo-op and give the bride and her “maids” something to smile about in years to come—whether the marriage lasts or not. I can think of many reasons the flip-flops could be appropriate.

As for the bride and groom’s reception, they planned to stay up and party until they left on their honeymoon—why not? No doubt they have had a connubial relationship that has culminated in their wedding—that seems the going trend these days (not a bad way to reduce the number of future divorces, one hopes). More often these days the honeymoon is just a vacation that gives the newlyweds an opportunity to enjoy the glorious, hedonistic release of hormones. Not only that, but many newlyweds find themselves so happy and excited after becoming “Mr. and Mrs.” that it’s impossible for them to be calm at a decorous and formal reception, followed by an equally ceremonious escape. Why not stay up, celebrate with family and friends, and leave later for their happily ever after?

The choices of the couple at the wedding I attended Saturday were much more in line with tradition, and I have never seen a bride wear a dress more beautiful, that was more perfectly suited to her slender frame. Colors and trends being what they are, the bridesmaids wore brown gowns, that flattered each of them; they wore modest, heeled sandals, appropriate and dressy. The music during the ceremony was a pleasant blend. The song “I Loved Her First” that was sung by a would-be Garth Brooks as the bride stood between her father and the groom, brought tears to many eyes—not just my own. The best thing, though, was the look on the faces of bride and groom. Her eyes were on the man she loved the moment the back doors opened and she walked down the aisle, and his were on her.

In the aftermath, who can say which couple will be happier? Weddings are one-day wonders that take months to plan, sometimes cost a ridiculous amount, can be exhausting, and, for better or worse, change two lives forever. It is the way of our society; it is the yin-yang that pretends to assure stability to procreation and proliferation of the human species, and some marriages I’ve seen really and truly do end “happily ever after.” So do flip-flops, parties, and tradition matter as much as the rest of their lives? The point in life is to live, to take a chance, to grab the gold ring while it’s offered. The carousel doesn’t go on forever.